THE TWO GENTLEMEN OF VERONA

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Contents

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

DUKE OF MILAN 
Father to Silvia. (DUKE:) 
VALENTINE 

PROTEUS 
| 

| the two Gentlemen. 
| 
ANTONIO 
Father to Proteus. 
THURIO 
a foolish rival to Valentine. 
EGLAMOUR 
Agent for Silvia in her escape. 
HOST 
where Julia lodges. (Host:) 
OUTLAWS 
with Valentine. 

(First Outlaw:) 
(Second Outlaw:) 
(Third Outlaw:) 
SPEED 
a clownish servant to Valentine. 
LAUNCE 
the like to Proteus. 
PANTHINO 
Servant to Antonio. 
JULIA 
beloved of Proteus. 
SILVIA 
beloved of Valentine. 
LUCETTA 
waiting-woman to Julia. 
Servants, Musicians. 

Scene

Verona; Milan; the frontiers of Mantua.

Act I

Scene I Verona. An open place.
[Enter VALENTINE and PROTEUS] 
VALENTINE 
Cease to persuade, my loving Proteus: 

Home-keeping youth have ever homely wits. 
Were't not affection chains thy tender days 
To the sweet glances of thy honour'd love, 
I rather would entreat thy company 
To see the wonders of the world abroad, 
Than, living dully sluggardized at home, 
Wear out thy youth with shapeless idleness. 
But since thou lovest, love still and thrive therein, 
Even as I would when I to love begin. 
PROTEUS 
Wilt thou be gone? Sweet Valentine, adieu! 

Think on thy Proteus, when thou haply seest 
Some rare note-worthy object in thy travel: 
Wish me partaker in thy happiness 
When thou dost meet good hap; and in thy danger, 
If ever danger do environ thee, 
Commend thy grievance to my holy prayers, 
For I will be thy beadsman, Valentine. 
VALENTINE 
And on a love-book pray for my success? 
PROTEUS 
Upon some book I love I'll pray for thee. 
VALENTINE 
That's on some shallow story of deep love: 

How young Leander cross'd the Hellespont. 
PROTEUS 
That's a deep story of a deeper love: 

For he was more than over shoes in love. 
VALENTINE 
'Tis true; for you are over boots in love, 

And yet you never swum the Hellespont. 
PROTEUS 
Over the boots? nay, give me not the boots. 
VALENTINE 
No, I will not, for it boots thee not. 
PROTEUS 
What? 
VALENTINE 
To be in love, where scorn is bought with groans; 

Coy looks with heart-sore sighs; one fading moment's mirth 
With twenty watchful, weary, tedious nights: 
If haply won, perhaps a hapless gain; 
If lost, why then a grievous labour won; 
However, but a folly bought with wit, 
Or else a wit by folly vanquished. 
PROTEUS 
So, by your circumstance, you call me fool. 
VALENTINE 
So, by your circumstance, I fear you'll prove. 
PROTEUS 
'Tis love you cavil at: I am not Love. 
VALENTINE 
Love is your master, for he masters you: 

And he that is so yoked by a fool, 
Methinks, should not be chronicled for wise. 
PROTEUS 
Yet writers say, as in the sweetest bud 

The eating canker dwells, so eating love 
Inhabits in the finest wits of all. 
VALENTINE 
And writers say, as the most forward bud 

Is eaten by the canker ere it blow, 
Even so by love the young and tender wit 
Is turn'd to folly, blasting in the bud, 
Losing his verdure even in the prime 
And all the fair effects of future hopes. 
But wherefore waste I time to counsel thee, 
That art a votary to fond desire? 
Once more adieu! my father at the road 
Expects my coming, there to see me shipp'd. 
PROTEUS 
And thither will I bring thee, Valentine. 
VALENTINE 
Sweet Proteus, no; now let us take our leave. 

To Milan let me hear from thee by letters 
Of thy success in love, and what news else 
Betideth here in absence of thy friend; 
And likewise will visit thee with mine. 
PROTEUS 
All happiness bechance to thee in Milan! 
VALENTINE 
As much to you at home! and so, farewell. 
[Exit] 
PROTEUS 
He after honour hunts, I after love: 

He leaves his friends to dignify them more, 
I leave myself, my friends and all, for love. 
Thou, Julia, thou hast metamorphosed me, 
Made me neglect my studies, lose my time, 
War with good counsel, set the world at nought; 
Made wit with musing weak, heart sick with thought. 
[Enter SPEED] 
SPEED 
Sir Proteus, save you! Saw you my master? 
PROTEUS 
But now he parted hence, to embark for Milan. 
SPEED 
Twenty to one then he is shipp'd already, 

And I have play'd the sheep in losing him. 
PROTEUS 
Indeed, a sheep doth very often stray, 

An if the shepherd be a while away. 
SPEED 
You conclude that my master is a shepherd, then, 

and I a sheep? 
PROTEUS 
I do. 
SPEED 
Why then, my horns are his horns, whether I wake or sleep. 
PROTEUS 
A silly answer and fitting well a sheep. 
SPEED 
This proves me still a sheep. 
PROTEUS 
True; and thy master a shepherd. 
SPEED 
Nay, that I can deny by a circumstance. 
PROTEUS 
It shall go hard but I'll prove it by another. 
SPEED 
The shepherd seeks the sheep, and not the sheep the 

shepherd; but I seek my master, and my master seeks 
not me: therefore I am no sheep. 
PROTEUS 
The sheep for fodder follow the shepherd; the 

shepherd for food follows not the sheep: thou for 
wages followest thy master; thy master for wages 
follows not thee: therefore thou art a sheep. 
SPEED 
Such another proof will make me cry 'baa.' 
PROTEUS 
But, dost thou hear? gavest thou my letter to Julia? 
SPEED 
Ay sir: I, a lost mutton, gave your letter to her, 

a laced mutton, and she, a laced mutton, gave me, a 
lost mutton, nothing for my labour. 
PROTEUS 
Here's too small a pasture for such store of muttons. 
SPEED 
If the ground be overcharged, you were best stick her. 
PROTEUS 
Nay: in that you are astray, 'twere best pound you. 
SPEED 
Nay, sir, less than a pound shall serve me for 

carrying your letter. 
PROTEUS 
You mistake; I mean the pound,--a pinfold. 
SPEED 
From a pound to a pin? fold it over and over, 

'Tis threefold too little for carrying a letter to 
your lover. 
PROTEUS 
But what said she? 
SPEED 
[First nodding] Ay. 
PROTEUS 
Nod--Ay--why, that's noddy. 
SPEED 
You mistook, sir; I say, she did nod: and you ask 

me if she did nod; and I say, 'Ay.' 
PROTEUS 
And that set together is noddy. 
SPEED 
Now you have taken the pains to set it together, 

take it for your pains. 
PROTEUS 
No, no; you shall have it for bearing the letter. 
SPEED 
Well, I perceive I must be fain to bear with you. 
PROTEUS 
Why sir, how do you bear with me? 
SPEED 
Marry, sir, the letter, very orderly; having nothing 

but the word 'noddy' for my pains. 
PROTEUS 
Beshrew me, but you have a quick wit. 
SPEED 
And yet it cannot overtake your slow purse. 
PROTEUS 
Come come, open the matter in brief: what said she? 
SPEED 
Open your purse, that the money and the matter may 

be both at once delivered. 
PROTEUS 
Well, sir, here is for your pains. What said she? 
SPEED 
Truly, sir, I think you'll hardly win her. 
PROTEUS 
Why, couldst thou perceive so much from her? 
SPEED 
Sir, I could perceive nothing at all from her; no, 

not so much as a ducat for delivering your letter: 
and being so hard to me that brought your mind, I 
fear she'll prove as hard to you in telling your 
mind. Give her no token but stones; for she's as 
hard as steel. 
PROTEUS 
What said she? nothing? 
SPEED 
No, not so much as 'Take this for thy pains.' To 

testify your bounty, I thank you, you have testerned 
me; in requital whereof, henceforth carry your 
letters yourself: and so, sir, I'll commend you to my master. 
PROTEUS 
Go, go, be gone, to save your ship from wreck, 

Which cannot perish having thee aboard, 
Being destined to a drier death on shore. 
[Exit SPEED] 
I must go send some better messenger: 

I fear my Julia would not deign my lines, 
Receiving them from such a worthless post. 
[Exit] 

Scene II The same. Garden of JULIA's house.
[Enter JULlA and LUCETTA] 
JULIA 
But say, Lucetta, now we are alone, 

Wouldst thou then counsel me to fall in love? 
LUCETTA 
Ay, madam, so you stumble not unheedfully. 
JULIA 
Of all the fair resort of gentlemen 

That every day with parle encounter me, 
In thy opinion which is worthiest love? 
LUCETTA 
Please you repeat their names, I'll show my mind 

According to my shallow simple skill. 
JULIA 
What think'st thou of the fair Sir Eglamour? 
LUCETTA 
As of a knight well-spoken, neat and fine; 

But, were I you, he never should be mine. 
JULIA 
What think'st thou of the rich Mercatio? 
LUCETTA 
Well of his wealth; but of himself, so so. 
JULIA 
What think'st thou of the gentle Proteus? 
LUCETTA 
Lord, Lord! to see what folly reigns in us! 
JULIA 
How now! what means this passion at his name? 
LUCETTA 
Pardon, dear madam: 'tis a passing shame 

That I, unworthy body as I am, 
Should censure thus on lovely gentlemen. 
JULIA 
Why not on Proteus, as of all the rest? 
LUCETTA 
Then thus: of many good I think him best. 
JULIA 
Your reason? 
LUCETTA 
I have no other, but a woman's reason; 

I think him so because I think him so. 
JULIA 
And wouldst thou have me cast my love on him? 
LUCETTA 
Ay, if you thought your love not cast away. 
JULIA 
Why he, of all the rest, hath never moved me. 
LUCETTA 
Yet he, of all the rest, I think, best loves ye. 
JULIA 
His little speaking shows his love but small. 
LUCETTA 
Fire that's closest kept burns most of all. 
JULIA 
They do not love that do not show their love. 
LUCETTA 
O, they love least that let men know their love. 
JULIA 
I would I knew his mind. 
LUCETTA 
Peruse this paper, madam. 
JULIA 
'To Julia.' Say, from whom? 
LUCETTA 
That the contents will show. 
JULIA 
Say, say, who gave it thee? 
LUCETTA 
Valentine's page; and sent, I think, from Proteus. 

He would have given it you; but I, being in the way, 
Did in your name receive it: pardon the 
fault I pray. 
JULIA 
Now, by my modesty, a goodly broker! 

Dare you presume to harbour wanton lines? 
To whisper and conspire against my youth? 
Now, trust me, 'tis an office of great worth 
And you an officer fit for the place. 
Or else return no more into my sight. 
LUCETTA 
To plead for love deserves more fee than hate. 
JULIA 
Will ye be gone? 
LUCETTA 
That you may ruminate. 
[Exit] 
JULIA 
And yet I would I had o'erlooked the letter: 

It were a shame to call her back again 
And pray her to a fault for which I chid her. 
What a fool is she, that knows I am a maid, 
And would not force the letter to my view! 
Since maids, in modesty, say 'no' to that 
Which they would have the profferer construe 'ay.' 
Fie, fie, how wayward is this foolish love 
That, like a testy babe, will scratch the nurse 
And presently all humbled kiss the rod! 
How churlishly I chid Lucetta hence, 
When willingly I would have had her here! 
How angerly I taught my brow to frown, 
When inward joy enforced my heart to smile! 
My penance is to call Lucetta back 
And ask remission for my folly past. 
What ho! Lucetta! 
[Re-enter LUCETTA] 
LUCETTA 
What would your ladyship? 
JULIA 
Is't near dinner-time? 
LUCETTA 
I would it were, 

That you might kill your stomach on your meat 
And not upon your maid. 
JULIA 
What is't that you took up so gingerly? 
LUCETTA 
Nothing. 
JULIA 
Why didst thou stoop, then? 
LUCETTA 
To take a paper up that I let fall. 
JULIA 
And is that paper nothing? 
LUCETTA 
Nothing concerning me. 
JULIA 
Then let it lie for those that it concerns. 
LUCETTA 
Madam, it will not lie where it concerns 

Unless it have a false interpeter. 
JULIA 
Some love of yours hath writ to you in rhyme. 
LUCETTA 
That I might sing it, madam, to a tune. 

Give me a note: your ladyship can set. 
JULIA 
As little by such toys as may be possible. 

Best sing it to the tune of 'Light o' love.' 
LUCETTA 
It is too heavy for so light a tune. 
JULIA 
Heavy! belike it hath some burden then? 
LUCETTA 
Ay, and melodious were it, would you sing it. 
JULIA 
And why not you? 
LUCETTA 
I cannot reach so high. 
JULIA 
Let's see your song. How now, minion! 
LUCETTA 
Keep tune there still, so you will sing it out: 

And yet methinks I do not like this tune. 
JULIA 
You do not? 
LUCETTA 
No, madam; it is too sharp. 
JULIA 
You, minion, are too saucy. 
LUCETTA 
Nay, now you are too flat 

And mar the concord with too harsh a descant: 
There wanteth but a mean to fill your song. 
JULIA 
The mean is drown'd with your unruly bass. 
LUCETTA 
Indeed, I bid the base for Proteus. 
JULIA 
This babble shall not henceforth trouble me. 

Here is a coil with protestation! 
[Tears the letter] 
Go get you gone, and let the papers lie: 

You would be fingering them, to anger me. 
LUCETTA 
She makes it strange; but she would be best pleased 

To be so anger'd with another letter. 
[Exit] 
JULIA 
Nay, would I were so anger'd with the same! 

O hateful hands, to tear such loving words! 
Injurious wasps, to feed on such sweet honey 
And kill the bees that yield it with your stings! 
I'll kiss each several paper for amends. 
Look, here is writ 'kind Julia.' Unkind Julia! 
As in revenge of thy ingratitude, 
I throw thy name against the bruising stones, 
Trampling contemptuously on thy disdain. 
And here is writ 'love-wounded Proteus.' 
Poor wounded name! my bosom as a bed 
Shall lodge thee till thy wound be thoroughly heal'd; 
And thus I search it with a sovereign kiss. 
But twice or thrice was 'Proteus' written down. 
Be calm, good wind, blow not a word away 
Till I have found each letter in the letter, 
Except mine own name: that some whirlwind bear 
Unto a ragged fearful-hanging rock 
And throw it thence into the raging sea! 
Lo, here in one line is his name twice writ, 
'Poor forlorn Proteus, passionate Proteus,
To the sweet Julia:' that I'll tear away. 
And yet I will not, sith so prettily 
He couples it to his complaining names. 
Thus will I fold them one on another: 
Now kiss, embrace, contend, do what you will. 
[Re-enter LUCETTA] 
LUCETTA 
Madam, 

Dinner is ready, and your father stays. 
JULIA 
Well, let us go. 
LUCETTA 
What, shall these papers lie like tell-tales here? 
JULIA 
If you respect them, best to take them up. 
LUCETTA 
Nay, I was taken up for laying them down: 

Yet here they shall not lie, for catching cold. 
JULIA 
I see you have a month's mind to them. 
LUCETTA 
Ay, madam, you may say what sights you see; 

I see things too, although you judge I wink. 
JULIA 
Come, come; will't please you go? 
[Exeunt] 

Scene III The same. ANTONIO's house.
[Enter ANTONIO and PANTHINO] 
ANTONIO 
Tell me, Panthino, what sad talk was that 

Wherewith my brother held you in the cloister? 
PANTHINO 
'Twas of his nephew Proteus, your son. 
ANTONIO 
Why, what of him? 
PANTHINO 
He wonder'd that your lordship 

Would suffer him to spend his youth at home, 
While other men, of slender reputation, 
Put forth their sons to seek preferment out: 
Some to the wars, to try their fortune there; 
Some to discover islands far away; 
Some to the studious universities. 
For any or for all these exercises, 
He said that Proteus your son was meet, 
And did request me to importune you 
To let him spend his time no more at home, 
Which would be great impeachment to his age, 
In having known no travel in his youth. 
ANTONIO 
Nor need'st thou much importune me to that 

Whereon this month I have been hammering. 
I have consider'd well his loss of time 
And how he cannot be a perfect man, 
Not being tried and tutor'd in the world: 
Experience is by industry achieved 
And perfected by the swift course of time. 
Then tell me, whither were I best to send him? 
PANTHINO 
I think your lordship is not ignorant 

How his companion, youthful Valentine, 
Attends the emperor in his royal court. 
ANTONIO 
I know it well. 
PANTHINO 
'Twere good, I think, your lordship sent him thither: 

There shall he practise tilts and tournaments, 
Hear sweet discourse, converse with noblemen. 
And be in eye of every exercise 
Worthy his youth and nobleness of birth. 
ANTONIO 
I like thy counsel; well hast thou advised: 

And that thou mayst perceive how well I like it, 
The execution of it shall make known. 
Even with the speediest expedition 
I will dispatch him to the emperor's court. 
PANTHINO 
To-morrow, may it please you, Don Alphonso, 

With other gentlemen of good esteem, 
Are journeying to salute the emperor 
And to commend their service to his will. 
ANTONIO 
Good company; with them shall Proteus go: 

And, in good time! now will we break with him. 
[Enter PROTEUS]
PROTEUS 
Sweet love! sweet lines! sweet life! 

Here is her hand, the agent of her heart; 
Here is her oath for love, her honour's pawn. 
O, that our fathers would applaud our loves, 
To seal our happiness with their consents! 
O heavenly Julia! 
ANTONIO 
How now! what letter are you reading there? 
PROTEUS 
May't please your lordship, 'tis a word or two 

Of commendations sent from Valentine, 
Deliver'd by a friend that came from him. 
ANTONIO 
Lend me the letter; let me see what news. 
PROTEUS 
There is no news, my lord, but that he writes 

How happily he lives, how well beloved 
And daily graced by the emperor; 
Wishing me with him, partner of his fortune. 
ANTONIO 
And how stand you affected to his wish? 
PROTEUS 
As one relying on your lordship's will 

And not depending on his friendly wish. 
ANTONIO 
My will is something sorted with his wish. 

Muse not that I thus suddenly proceed; 
For what I will, I will, and there an end. 
I am resolved that thou shalt spend some time 
With Valentinus in the emperor's court: 
What maintenance he from his friends receives, 
Like exhibition thou shalt have from me. 
To-morrow be in readiness to go: 
Excuse it not, for I am peremptory. 
PROTEUS 
My lord, I cannot be so soon provided: 

Please you, deliberate a day or two. 
ANTONIO 
Look, what thou want'st shall be sent after thee: 

No more of stay! to-morrow thou must go. 
Come on, Panthino: you shall be employ'd 
To hasten on his expedition. 
[Exeunt ANTONIO and PANTHINO] 
PROTEUS 
Thus have I shunn'd the fire for fear of burning, 

And drench'd me in the sea, where I am drown'd. 
I fear'd to show my father Julia's letter, 
Lest he should take exceptions to my love; 
And with the vantage of mine own excuse 
Hath he excepted most against my love. 
O, how this spring of love resembleth 
The uncertain glory of an April day, 
Which now shows all the beauty of the sun, 
And by and by a cloud takes all away! 
[Re-enter PANTHINO] 
PANTHINO 
Sir Proteus, your father calls for you: 

He is in haste; therefore, I pray you to go. 
PROTEUS 
Why, this it is: my heart accords thereto, 

And yet a thousand times it answers 'no.' 
[Exeunt] 

Act II

Scene I Milan. The DUKE's palace.
[Enter VALENTINE and SPEED] 
SPEED 
Sir, your glove. 
VALENTINE 
Not mine; my gloves are on. 
SPEED 
Why, then, this may be yours, for this is but one. 
VALENTINE 
Ha! let me see: ay, give it me, it's mine: 

Sweet ornament that decks a thing divine! 
Ah, Silvia, Silvia! 
SPEED 
Madam Silvia! Madam Silvia! 
VALENTINE 
How now, sirrah? 
SPEED 
She is not within hearing, sir. 
VALENTINE 
Why, sir, who bade you call her? 
SPEED 
Your worship, sir; or else I mistook. 
VALENTINE 
Well, you'll still be too forward. 
SPEED 
And yet I was last chidden for being too slow. 
VALENTINE 
Go to, sir: tell me, do you know Madam Silvia? 
SPEED 
She that your worship loves? 
VALENTINE 
Why, how know you that I am in love? 
SPEED 
Marry, by these special marks: first, you have 

learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreathe your arms, 
like a malecontent; to relish a love-song, like a 
robin-redbreast; to walk alone, like one that had 
the pestilence; to sigh, like a school-boy that had 
lost his A B C; to weep, like a young wench that had 
buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes 
diet; to watch like one that fears robbing; to 
speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were 
wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you 
walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you 
fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you 
looked sadly, it was for want of money: and now you 
are metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when I look 
on you, I can hardly think you my master. 
VALENTINE 
Are all these things perceived in me? 
SPEED 
They are all perceived without ye. 
VALENTINE 
Without me? they cannot. 
SPEED 
Without you? nay, that's certain, for, without you 

were so simple, none else would: but you are so 
without these follies, that these follies are within 
you and shine through you like the water in an 
urinal, that not an eye that sees you but is a 
physician to comment on your malady. 
VALENTINE 
But tell me, dost thou know my lady Silvia? 
SPEED 
She that you gaze on so as she sits at supper? 
VALENTINE 
Hast thou observed that? even she, I mean. 
SPEED 
Why, sir, I know her not. 
VALENTINE 
Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet 

knowest her not? 
SPEED 
Is she not hard-favoured, sir? 
VALENTINE 
Not so fair, boy, as well-favoured. 
SPEED 
Sir, I know that well enough. 
VALENTINE 
What dost thou know? 
SPEED 
That she is not so fair as, of you, well-favoured. 
VALENTINE 
I mean that her beauty is exquisite, but her favour infinite. 
SPEED 
That's because the one is painted and the other out 

of all count. 
VALENTINE 
How painted? and how out of count? 
SPEED 
Marry, sir, so painted, to make her fair, that no 

man counts of her beauty. 
VALENTINE 
How esteemest thou me? I account of her beauty. 
SPEED 
You never saw her since she was deformed. 
VALENTINE 
How long hath she been deformed? 
SPEED 
Ever since you loved her. 
VALENTINE 
I have loved her ever since I saw her; and still I 

see her beautiful. 
SPEED 
If you love her, you cannot see her. 
VALENTINE 
Why? 
SPEED 
Because Love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes; 

or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to 
have when you chid at Sir Proteus for going 
ungartered! 
VALENTINE 
What should I see then? 
SPEED 
Your own present folly and her passing deformity: 

for he, being in love, could not see to garter his 
hose, and you, being in love, cannot see to put on your hose. 
VALENTINE 
Belike, boy, then, you are in love; for last 

morning you could not see to wipe my shoes. 
SPEED 
True, sir; I was in love with my bed: I thank you, 

you swinged me for my love, which makes me the 
bolder to chide you for yours. 
VALENTINE 
In conclusion, I stand affected to her. 
SPEED 
I would you were set, so your affection would cease. 
VALENTINE 
Last night she enjoined me to write some lines to 

one she loves. 
SPEED 
And have you? 
VALENTINE 
I have. 
SPEED 
Are they not lamely writ? 
VALENTINE 
No, boy, but as well as I can do them. Peace! 

here she comes. 
SPEED 
[Aside] O excellent motion! O exceeding puppet! 

Now will he interpret to her. 
[Enter SILVIA] 
VALENTINE 
Madam and mistress, a thousand good-morrows. 
SPEED 
[Aside] O, give ye good even! here's a million of manners. 
SILVIA 
Sir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand. 
SPEED 
[Aside] He should give her interest and she gives it him. 
VALENTINE 
As you enjoin'd me, I have writ your letter 

Unto the secret nameless friend of yours; 
Which I was much unwilling to proceed in 
But for my duty to your ladyship. 
SILVIA 
I thank you gentle servant: 'tis very clerkly done. 
VALENTINE 
Now trust me, madam, it came hardly off; 

For being ignorant to whom it goes 
I writ at random, very doubtfully. 
SILVIA 
Perchance you think too much of so much pains? 
VALENTINE 
No, madam; so it stead you, I will write 

Please you command, a thousand times as much; And yet-- 
SILVIA 
A pretty period! Well, I guess the sequel; 

And yet I will not name it; and yet I care not; 
And yet take this again; and yet I thank you, 
Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more.