2 KING HENRY IV

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Contents

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

RUMOUR the Presenter. 
KING HENRY the Fourth. (KING HENRY IV:) 
PRINCE HENRY 
OF WALES (PRINCE HENRY:) 
afterwards KING HENRY V. 

THOMAS, DUKE OF 
CLARENCE (CLARENCE:) 

PRINCE HUMPHREY 
OF GLOUCESTER (GLOUCESTER:) 

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| sons of King Henry.
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| 
EARL OF WARWICK (WARWICK:) 
EARL OF
WESTMORELAND
(WESTMORELAND:) 
EARL OF SURREY:
GOWER:
HARCOURT:
BLUNT:
Lord Chief-Justice of the King's Bench:
(Lord Chief-Justice:) 
A Servant of the Chief-Justice. 
EARL OF
NORTHUMBERLAND
(NORTHUMBERLAND:) 
SCROOP,
ARCHBISHOP OF YORK
(ARCHBISHOP OF YORK:) 
LORD MOWBRAY (MOWBRAY:) 
LORD HASTINGS (HASTINGS:) 
LORD BARDOLPH:
SIR JOHN COLEVILE (COLEVILE:) 
TRAVERS 

MORTON 

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| retainers of Northumberland.
| 
SIR JOHN FALSTAFF (FALSTAFF:) 
His Page. (Page:) 
BARDOLPH:
PISTOL:
POINS:
PETO:
SHALLOW 

SILENCE 

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| country justices.
| 
DAVY servant to Shallow. 
MOULDY 

SHADOW 

WART 

FEEBLE 

BULLCALF 

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|
|
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| recruits.
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| 
FANG 

SNARE 

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| sheriff's officers.
| 
LADY
NORTHUMBERLAND:
LADY PERCY:
MISTRESS QUICKLY hostess of a tavern in Eastcheap. 
DOLL TEARSHEET:
Lords and Attendants; Porter, Drawers,
Beadles, Grooms, &c.
(First Messenger:)
(Porter:)
(First Drawer:)
(Second Drawer:)
(First Beadle:)
(First Groom:)
(Second Groom:) 
A Dancer, speaker of the epilogue. 

Scene

England. 

Induction

[Warkworth. Before the castle] 
[Enter RUMOUR, painted full of tongues] 
RUMOUR Open your ears; for which of you will stop
The vent of hearing when loud Rumour speaks?
I, from the orient to the drooping west,
Making the wind my post-horse, still unfold
The acts commenced on this ball of earth:
Upon my tongues continual slanders ride,
The which in every language I pronounce,
Stuffing the ears of men with false reports.
I speak of peace, while covert enmity
Under the smile of safety wounds the world:
And who but Rumour, who but only I,
Make fearful musters and prepared defence,
Whiles the big year, swoln with some other grief,
Is thought with child by the stern tyrant war,
And no such matter? Rumour is a pipe
Blown by surmises, jealousies, conjectures
And of so easy and so plain a stop
That the blunt monster with uncounted heads,
The still-discordant wavering multitude,
Can play upon it. But what need I thus
My well-known body to anatomize
Among my household? Why is Rumour here?
I run before King Harry's victory;
Who in a bloody field by Shrewsbury
Hath beaten down young Hotspur and his troops,
Quenching the flame of bold rebellion
Even with the rebel's blood. But what mean I
To speak so true at first? my office is
To noise abroad that Harry Monmouth fell
Under the wrath of noble Hotspur's sword,
And that the king before the Douglas' rage
Stoop'd his anointed head as low as death.
This have I rumour'd through the peasant towns
Between that royal field of Shrewsbury
And this worm-eaten hold of ragged stone,
Where Hotspur's father, old Northumberland,
Lies crafty-sick: the posts come tiring on,
And not a man of them brings other news
Than they have learn'd of me: from Rumour's tongues
They bring smooth comforts false, worse than
true wrongs. 
[Exit] 

Act I

Scene I The same.

[Enter LORD BARDOLPH] 
LORD BARDOLPH Who keeps the gate here, ho? 
[The Porter opens the gate] 
Where is the earl? 
Porter What shall I say you are? 
LORD BARDOLPH Tell thou the earl
That the Lord Bardolph doth attend him here. 
Porter His lordship is walk'd forth into the orchard;
Please it your honour, knock but at the gate,
And he himself wilt answer. 
[Enter NORTHUMBERLAND] 
LORD BARDOLPH Here comes the earl. 
[Exit Porter] 
NORTHUMBERLAND What news, Lord Bardolph? every minute now
Should be the father of some stratagem:
The times are wild: contention, like a horse
Full of high feeding, madly hath broke loose
And bears down all before him. 
LORD BARDOLPH Noble earl,
I bring you certain news from Shrewsbury. 
NORTHUMBERLAND Good, an God will! 
LORD BARDOLPH As good as heart can wish:
The king is almost wounded to the death;
And, in the fortune of my lord your son,
Prince Harry slain outright; and both the Blunts
Kill'd by the hand of Douglas; young Prince John
And Westmoreland and Stafford fled the field;
And Harry Monmouth's brawn, the hulk Sir John,
Is prisoner to your son: O, such a day,
So fought, so follow'd and so fairly won,
Came not till now to dignify the times,
Since Caesar's fortunes! 
NORTHUMBERLAND How is this derived?
Saw you the field? came you from Shrewsbury? 
LORD BARDOLPH I spake with one, my lord, that came from thence,
A gentleman well bred and of good name,
That freely render'd me these news for true. 
NORTHUMBERLAND Here comes my servant Travers, whom I sent
On Tuesday last to listen after news. 
[Enter TRAVERS] 
LORD BARDOLPH My lord, I over-rode him on the way;
And he is furnish'd with no certainties
More than he haply may retail from me. 
NORTHUMBERLAND Now, Travers, what good tidings comes with you? 
TRAVERS My lord, Sir John Umfrevile turn'd me back
With joyful tidings; and, being better horsed,
Out-rode me. After him came spurring hard
A gentleman, almost forspent with speed,
That stopp'd by me to breathe his bloodied horse.
He ask'd the way to Chester; and of him
I did demand what news from Shrewsbury:
He told me that rebellion had bad luck
And that young Harry Percy's spur was cold.
With that, he gave his able horse the head,
And bending forward struck his armed heels
Against the panting sides of his poor jade
Up to the rowel-head, and starting so
He seem'd in running to devour the way,
Staying no longer question. 
NORTHUMBERLAND Ha! Again:
Said he young Harry Percy's spur was cold?
Of Hotspur Coldspur? that rebellion
Had met ill luck? 
LORD BARDOLPH My lord, I'll tell you what;
If my young lord your son have not the day,
Upon mine honour, for a silken point
I'll give my barony: never talk of it. 
NORTHUMBERLAND Why should that gentleman that rode by Travers
Give then such instances of loss? 
LORD BARDOLPH Who, he?
He was some hilding fellow that had stolen
The horse he rode on, and, upon my life,
Spoke at a venture. Look, here comes more news. 
[Enter MORTON] 
NORTHUMBERLAND Yea, this man's brow, like to a title-leaf,
Foretells the nature of a tragic volume:
So looks the strand whereon the imperious flood
Hath left a witness'd usurpation.
Say, Morton, didst thou come from Shrewsbury? 
MORTON I ran from Shrewsbury, my noble lord;
Where hateful death put on his ugliest mask
To fright our party. 
NORTHUMBERLAND How doth my son and brother?
Thou tremblest; and the whiteness in thy cheek
Is apter than thy tongue to tell thy errand.
Even such a man, so faint, so spiritless,
So dull, so dead in look, so woe-begone,
Drew Priam's curtain in the dead of night,
And would have told him half his Troy was burnt;
But Priam found the fire ere he his tongue,
And I my Percy's death ere thou report'st it.
This thou wouldst say, 'Your son did thus and thus;
Your brother thus: so fought the noble Douglas:'
Stopping my greedy ear with their bold deeds:
But in the end, to stop my ear indeed,
Thou hast a sigh to blow away this praise,
Ending with 'Brother, son, and all are dead.' 
MORTON Douglas is living, and your brother, yet;
But, for my lord your son-- 
NORTHUMBERLAND Why, he is dead.
See what a ready tongue suspicion hath!
He that but fears the thing he would not know
Hath by instinct knowledge from others' eyes
That what he fear'd is chanced. Yet speak, Morton;
Tell thou an earl his divination lies,
And I will take it as a sweet disgrace
And make thee rich for doing me such wrong. 
MORTON You are too great to be by me gainsaid:
Your spirit is too true, your fears too certain. 
NORTHUMBERLAND Yet, for all this, say not that Percy's dead.
I see a strange confession in thine eye:
Thou shakest thy head and hold'st it fear or sin
To speak a truth. If he be slain, say so;
The tongue offends not that reports his death:
And he doth sin that doth belie the dead,
Not he which says the dead is not alive.
Yet the first bringer of unwelcome news
Hath but a losing office, and his tongue
Sounds ever after as a sullen bell,
Remember'd tolling a departing friend. 
LORD BARDOLPH I cannot think, my lord, your son is dead. 
MORTON I am sorry I should force you to believe
That which I would to God I had not seen;
But these mine eyes saw him in bloody state,
Rendering faint quittance, wearied and out-breathed,
To Harry Monmouth; whose swift wrath beat down
The never-daunted Percy to the earth,
From whence with life he never more sprung up.
In few, his death, whose spirit lent a fire
Even to the dullest peasant in his camp,
Being bruited once, took fire and heat away
From the best temper'd courage in his troops;
For from his metal was his party steel'd;
Which once in him abated, all the rest
Turn'd on themselves, like dull and heavy lead:
And as the thing that's heavy in itself,
Upon enforcement flies with greatest speed,
So did our men, heavy in Hotspur's loss,
Lend to this weight such lightness with their fear
That arrows fled not swifter toward their aim
Than did our soldiers, aiming at their safety,
Fly from the field. Then was the noble Worcester
Too soon ta'en prisoner; and that furious Scot,
The bloody Douglas, whose well-labouring sword
Had three times slain the appearance of the king,
'Gan vail his stomach and did grace the shame
Of those that turn'd their backs, and in his flight,
Stumbling in fear, was took. The sum of all
Is that the king hath won, and hath sent out
A speedy power to encounter you, my lord,
Under the conduct of young Lancaster
And Westmoreland. This is the news at full. 
NORTHUMBERLAND For this I shall have time enough to mourn.
In poison there is physic; and these news,
Having been well, that would have made me sick,
Being sick, have in some measure made me well:
And as the wretch, whose fever-weaken'd joints,
Like strengthless hinges, buckle under life,
Impatient of his fit, breaks like a fire
Out of his keeper's arms, even so my limbs,
Weaken'd with grief, being now enraged with grief,
Are thrice themselves. Hence, therefore, thou nice crutch!
A scaly gauntlet now with joints of steel
Must glove this hand: and hence, thou sickly quoif!
Thou art a guard too wanton for the head
Which princes, flesh'd with conquest, aim to hit.
Now bind my brows with iron; and approach
The ragged'st hour that time and spite dare bring
To frown upon the enraged Northumberland!
Let heaven kiss earth! now let not Nature's hand
Keep the wild flood confined! let order die!
And let this world no longer be a stage
To feed contention in a lingering act;
But let one spirit of the first-born Cain
Reign in all bosoms, that, each heart being set
On bloody courses, the rude scene may end,
And darkness be the burier of the dead! 
TRAVERS This strained passion doth you wrong, my lord. 
LORD BARDOLPH Sweet earl, divorce not wisdom from your honour. 
MORTON The lives of all your loving complices
Lean on your health; the which, if you give o'er
To stormy passion, must perforce decay.
You cast the event of war, my noble lord,
And summ'd the account of chance, before you said
'Let us make head.' It was your presurmise,
That, in the dole of blows, your son might drop:
You knew he walk'd o'er perils, on an edge,
More likely to fall in than to get o'er;
You were advised his flesh was capable
Of wounds and scars and that his forward spirit
Would lift him where most trade of danger ranged:
Yet did you say 'Go forth;' and none of this,
Though strongly apprehended, could restrain
The stiff-borne action: what hath then befallen,
Or what hath this bold enterprise brought forth,
More than that being which was like to be? 
LORD BARDOLPH We all that are engaged to this loss
Knew that we ventured on such dangerous seas
That if we wrought our life 'twas ten to one;
And yet we ventured, for the gain proposed
Choked the respect of likely peril fear'd;
And since we are o'erset, venture again.
Come, we will all put forth, body and goods. 
MORTON 'Tis more than time: and, my most noble lord,
I hear for certain, and do speak the truth,
The gentle Archbishop of York is up
With well-appointed powers: he is a man
Who with a double surety binds his followers.
My lord your son had only but the corpse,
But shadows and the shows of men, to fight;
For that same word, rebellion, did divide
The action of their bodies from their souls;
And they did fight with queasiness, constrain'd,
As men drink potions, that their weapons only
Seem'd on our side; but, for their spirits and souls,
This word, rebellion, it had froze them up,
As fish are in a pond. But now the bishop
Turns insurrection to religion:
Supposed sincere and holy in his thoughts,
He's followed both with body and with mind;
And doth enlarge his rising with the blood
Of fair King Richard, scraped from Pomfret stones;
Derives from heaven his quarrel and his cause;
Tells them he doth bestride a bleeding land,
Gasping for life under great Bolingbroke;
And more and less do flock to follow him. 
NORTHUMBERLAND I knew of this before; but, to speak truth,
This present grief had wiped it from my mind.
Go in with me; and counsel every man
The aptest way for safety and revenge:
Get posts and letters, and make friends with speed:
Never so few, and never yet more need. 
[Exeunt] 

Scene II London. A street.

[Enter FALSTAFF, with his Page bearing his sword
and buckler] 
FALSTAFF Sirrah, you giant, what says the doctor to my water? 
Page He said, sir, the water itself was a good healthy
water; but, for the party that owed it, he might
have more diseases than he knew for. 
FALSTAFF Men of all sorts take a pride to gird at me: the
brain of this foolish-compounded clay, man, is not
able to invent anything that tends to laughter, more
than I invent or is invented on me: I am not only
witty in myself, but the cause that wit is in other
men. I do here walk before thee like a sow that
hath overwhelmed all her litter but one. If the
prince put thee into my service for any other reason
than to set me off, why then I have no judgment.
Thou whoreson mandrake, thou art fitter to be worn
in my cap than to wait at my heels. I was never
manned with an agate till now: but I will inset you
neither in gold nor silver, but in vile apparel, and
send you back again to your master, for a jewel,--
the juvenal, the prince your master, whose chin is
not yet fledged. I will sooner have a beard grow in
the palm of my hand than he shall get one on his
cheek; and yet he will not stick to say his face is
a face-royal: God may finish it when he will, 'tis
not a hair amiss yet: he may keep it still at a
face-royal, for a barber shall never earn sixpence
out of it; and yet he'll be crowing as if he had
writ man ever since his father was a bachelor. He
may keep his own grace, but he's almost out of mine,
I can assure him. What said Master Dombledon about
the satin for my short cloak and my slops? 
Page He said, sir, you should procure him better
assurance than Bardolph: he would not take his
band and yours; he liked not the security. 
FALSTAFF Let him be damned, like the glutton! pray God his
tongue be hotter! A whoreson Achitophel! a rascally
yea-forsooth knave! to bear a gentleman in hand,
and then stand upon security! The whoreson
smooth-pates do now wear nothing but high shoes, and
bunches of keys at their girdles; and if a man is
through with them in honest taking up, then they
must stand upon security. I had as lief they would
put ratsbane in my mouth as offer to stop it with
security. I looked a' should have sent me two and
twenty yards of satin, as I am a true knight, and he
sends me security. Well, he may sleep in security;
for he hath the horn of abundance, and the lightness
of his wife shines through it: and yet cannot he
see, though he have his own lanthorn to light him.
Where's Bardolph? 
Page He's gone into Smithfield to buy your worship a horse. 
FALSTAFF I bought him in Paul's, and he'll buy me a horse in
Smithfield: an I could get me but a wife in the
stews, I were manned, horsed, and wived. 
[Enter the Lord Chief-Justice and Servant] 
Page Sir, here comes the nobleman that committed the
Prince for striking him about Bardolph. 
FALSTAFF Wait, close; I will not see him. 
Lord Chief-Justice What's he that goes there? 
Servant Falstaff, an't please your lordship. 
Lord Chief-Justice He that was in question for the robbery? 
Servant He, my lord: but he hath since done good service at
Shrewsbury; and, as I hear, is now going with some
charge to the Lord John of Lancaster. 
Lord Chief-Justice What, to York? Call him back again. 
Servant Sir John Falstaff! 
FALSTAFF Boy, tell him I am deaf. 
Page You must speak louder; my master is deaf. 
Lord Chief-Justice I am sure he is, to the hearing of any thing good.
Go, pluck him by the elbow; I must speak with him. 
Servant Sir John! 
FALSTAFF What! a young knave, and begging! Is there not
wars? is there not employment? doth not the king
lack subjects? do not the rebels need soldiers?
Though it be a shame to be on any side but one, it
is worse shame to beg than to be on the worst side,
were it worse than the name of rebellion can tell
how to make it. 
Servant You mistake me, sir. 
FALSTAFF Why, sir, did I say you were an honest man? setting
my knighthood and my soldiership aside, I had lied
in my throat, if I had said so. 
Servant I pray you, sir, then set your knighthood and our
soldiership aside; and give me leave to tell you,
you lie in your throat, if you say I am any other
than an honest man. 
FALSTAFF I give thee leave to tell me so! I lay aside that
which grows to me! if thou gettest any leave of me,
hang me; if thou takest leave, thou wert better be
hanged. You hunt counter: hence! avaunt! 
Servant Sir, my lord would speak with you. 
Lord Chief-Justice Sir John Falstaff, a word with you. 
FALSTAFF My good lord! God give your lordship good time of
day. I am glad to see your lordship abroad: I heard
say your lordship was sick: I hope your lordship
goes abroad by advice. Your lordship, though not
clean past your youth, hath yet some smack of age in
you, some relish of the saltness of time; and I must
humbly beseech your lordship to have a reverent care
of your health. 
Lord Chief-Justice Sir John, I sent for you before your expedition to
Shrewsbury. 
FALSTAFF An't please your lordship, I hear his majesty is
returned with some discomfort from Wales. 
Lord Chief-Justice I talk not of his majesty: you would not come when
I sent for you. 
FALSTAFF And I hear, moreover, his highness is fallen into
this same whoreson apoplexy. 
Lord Chief-Justice Well, God mend him! I pray you, let me speak with
you. 
FALSTAFF This apoplexy is, as I take it, a kind of lethargy,
an't please your lordship; a kind of sleeping in the
blood, a whoreson tingling. 
Lord Chief-Justice What tell you me of it? be it as it is. 
FALSTAFF It hath its original from much grief, from study and
perturbation of the brain: I have read the cause of
his effects in Galen: it is a kind of deafness. 
Lord Chief-Justice I think you are fallen into the disease; for you
hear not what I say to you. 
FALSTAFF Very well, my lord, very well: rather, an't please
you, it is the disease of not listening, the malady
of not marking, that I am troubled withal. 
Lord Chief-Justice To punish you by the heels would amend the
attention of your ears; and I care not if I do
become your physician. 
FALSTAFF I am as poor as Job, my lord, but not so patient:
your lordship may minister the potion of
imprisonment to me in respect of poverty; but how
should I be your patient to follow your
prescriptions, the wise may make some dram of a
scruple, or indeed a scruple itself. 
Lord Chief-Justice I sent for you, when there were matters against you
for your life, to come speak with me. 
FALSTAFF As I was then advised by my learned counsel in the
laws of this land-service, I did not come. 
Lord Chief-Justice Well, the truth is, Sir John, you live in great infamy. 
FALSTAFF He that buckles him in my belt cannot live in less. 
Lord Chief-Justice Your means are very slender, and your waste is great. 
FALSTAFF I would it were otherwise; I would my means were
greater, and my waist slenderer. 
Lord Chief-Justice You have misled the youthful prince. 
FALSTAFF The young prince hath misled me: I am the fellow
with the great belly, and he my dog. 
Lord Chief-Justice Well, I am loath to gall a new-healed wound: your
day's service at Shrewsbury hath a little gilded
over your night's exploit on Gad's-hill: you may
thank the unquiet time for your quiet o'er-posting
that action. 
FALSTAFF My lord? 
Lord Chief-Justice But since all is well, keep it so: wake not a
sleeping wolf. 
FALSTAFF To wake a wolf is as bad as to smell a fox. 
Lord Chief-Justice What! you are as a candle, the better part burnt
out. 
FALSTAFF A wassail candle, my lord, all tallow: if I did say
of wax, my growth would approve the truth. 
Lord Chief-Justice There is not a white hair on your face but should
have his effect of gravity. 
FALSTAFF His effect of gravy, gravy, gravy. 
Lord Chief-Justice You follow the young prince up and down, like his
ill angel. 
FALSTAFF Not so, my lord; your ill angel is light; but I hope
he that looks upon me will take me without weighing:
and yet, in some respects, I grant, I cannot go: I
cannot tell. Virtue is of so little regard in these
costermonger times that true valour is turned
bear-herd: pregnancy is made a tapster, and hath
his quick wit wasted in giving reckonings: all the
other gifts appertinent to man, as the malice of
this age shapes them, are not worth a gooseberry.
You that are old consider not the capacities of us
that are young; you do measure the heat of our
livers with the bitterness of your galls: and we
that are in the vaward of our youth, I must confess,
are wags too. 
Lord Chief-Justice Do you set down your name in the scroll of youth,
that are written down old with all the characters of
age? Have you not a moist eye? a dry hand? a
yellow cheek? a white beard? a decreasing leg? an
increasing belly? is not your voice broken? your
wind short? your chin double? your wit single? and
every part about you blasted with antiquity? and
will you yet call yourself young? Fie, fie, fie, Sir John! 
FALSTAFF My lord, I was born about three of the clock in the
afternoon, with a white head and something a round
belly. For my voice, I have lost it with halloing
and singing of anthems. To approve my youth
further, I will not: the truth is, I am only old in
judgment and understanding; and he that will caper
with me for a thousand marks, let him lend me the
money, and have at him! For the box of the ear that
the prince gave you, he gave it like a rude prince,
and you took it like a sensible lord. I have
chequed him for it, and the young lion repents;
marry, not in ashes and sackcloth, but in new silk
and old sack. 
Lord Chief-Justice Well, God send the prince a better companion! 
FALSTAFF God send the companion a better prince! I cannot
rid my hands of him. 
Lord Chief-Justice Well, the king hath severed you and Prince Harry: I
hear you are going with Lord John of Lancaster
against the Archbishop and the Earl of
Northumberland. 
FALSTAFF Yea; I thank your pretty sweet wit for it. But look
you pray, all you that kiss my lady Peace at home,
that our armies join not in a hot day; for, by the
Lord, I take but two shirts out with me, and I mean
not to sweat extraordinarily: if it be a hot day,
and I brandish any thing but a bottle, I would I
might never spit white again. There is not a
dangerous action can peep out his head but I am
thrust upon it: well, I cannot last ever: but it
was alway yet the trick of our English nation, if
they have a good thing, to make it too common. If
ye will needs say I am an old man, you should give
me rest. I would to God my name were not so
terrible to the enemy as it is: I were better to be
eaten to death with a rust than to be scoured to
nothing with perpetual motion. 
Lord Chief-Justice Well, be honest, be honest; and God bless your
expedition! 
FALSTAFF Will your lordship lend me a thousand pound to
furnish me forth? 
Lord Chief-Justice Not a penny, not a penny; you are too impatient to
bear crosses. Fare you well: commend me to my
cousin Westmoreland. 
[Exeunt Chief-Justice and Servant] 
FALSTAFF If I do, fillip me with a three-man beetle. A man
can no more separate age and covetousness than a'
can part young limbs and lechery: but the gout
galls the one, and the pox pinches the other; and
so both the degrees prevent my curses. Boy! 
Page Sir? 
FALSTAFF What money is in my purse? 
Page Seven groats and two pence. 
FALSTAFF I can get no remedy against this consumption of the
purse: borrowing only lingers and lingers it out,
but the disease is incurable. Go bear this letter
to my Lord of Lancaster; this to the prince; this
to the Earl of Westmoreland; and this to old
Mistress Ursula, whom I have weekly sworn to marry
since I perceived the first white hair on my chin.
About it: you know where to find me. 
[Exit Page] 
A pox of this gout! or, a gout of this pox! for
the one or the other plays the rogue with my great
toe. 'Tis no matter if I do halt; I have the wars
for my colour, and my pension shall seem the more
reasonable. A good wit will make use of any thing:
I will turn diseases to commodity. 
[Exit] 

Scene III York. The Archbishop's palace.

[Enter the ARCHBISHOP OF YORK, the Lords HASTINGS,
MOWBRAY, and BARDOLPH] 
ARCHBISHOP OF YORK Thus have you heard our cause and known our means;
And, my most noble friends, I pray you all,
Speak plainly your opinions of our hopes:
And first, lord marshal, what say you to it? 
MOWBRAY I well allow the occasion of our arms;
But gladly would be better satisfied
How in our means we should advance ourselves
To look with forehead bold and big enough
Upon the power and puissance of the king. 
HASTINGS Our present musters grow upon the file
To five and twenty thousand men of choice;
And our supplies live largely in the hope
Of great Northumberland, whose bosom burns
With an incensed fire of injuries. 
LORD BARDOLPH The question then, Lord Hastings, standeth thus;
Whether our present five and twenty thousand
May hold up head without Northumberland? 
HASTINGS With him, we may. 
LORD BARDOLPH Yea, marry, there's the point:
But if without him we be thought too feeble,
My judgment is, we should not step too far
Till we had his assistance by the hand;
For in a theme so bloody-faced as this
Conjecture, expectation, and surmise
Of aids incertain should not be admitted. 
ARCHBISHOP OF YORK 'Tis very true, Lord Bardolph; for indeed
It was young Hotspur's case at Shrewsbury. 
LORD BARDOLPH It was, my lord; who lined himself with hope,
Eating the air on promise of supply,
Flattering himself in project of a power
Much smaller than the smallest of his thoughts:
And so, with great imagination
Proper to madmen, led his powers to death
And winking leap'd into destruction. 
HASTINGS But, by your leave, it never yet did hurt
To lay down likelihoods and forms of hope. 
LORD BARDOLPH Yes, if this present quality of war,
Indeed the instant action: a cause on foot
Lives so in hope as in an early spring
We see the appearing buds; which to prove fruit,
Hope gives not so much warrant as despair
That frosts will bite them. When we mean to build,
We first survey the plot, then draw the model;
And when we see the figure of the house,
Then must we rate the cost of the erection;
Which if we find outweighs ability,
What do we then but draw anew the model
In fewer offices, or at last desist
To build at all? Much more, in this great work,
Which is almost to pluck a kingdom down
And set another up, should we survey
The plot of situation and the model,
Consent upon a sure foundation,
Question surveyors, know our own estate,
How able such a work to undergo,
To weigh against his opposite; or else
We fortify in paper and in figures,
Using the names of men instead of men:
Like one that draws the model of a house
Beyond his power to build it; who, half through,
Gives o'er and leaves his part-created cost
A naked subject to the weeping clouds
And waste for churlish winter's tyranny. 
HASTINGS Grant that our hopes, yet likely of fair birth,
Should be still-born, and that we now possess'd
The utmost man of expectation,
I think we are a body strong enough,
Even as we are, to equal with the king. 
LORD BARDOLPH What, is the king but five and twenty thousand? 
HASTINGS To us no more; nay, not so much, Lord Bardolph.
For his divisions, as the times do brawl,
Are in three heads: one power against the French,
And one against Glendower; perforce a third
Must take up us: so is the unfirm king
In three divided; and his coffers sound
With hollow poverty and emptiness. 
ARCHBISHOP OF YORK That he should draw his several strengths together
And come against us in full puissance,
Need not be dreaded. 
HASTINGS If he should do so,
He leaves his back unarm'd, the French and Welsh
Baying him at the heels: never fear that. 
LORD BARDOLPH Who is it like should lead his forces hither? 
HASTINGS The Duke of Lancaster and Westmoreland;
Against the Welsh, himself and Harry Monmouth:
But who is substituted 'gainst the French,
I have no certain notice. 
ARCHBISHOP OF YORK Let us on,
And publish the occasion of our arms.
The commonwealth is sick of their own choice;
Their over-greedy love hath surfeited:
An habitation giddy and unsure
Hath he that buildeth on the vulgar heart.
O thou fond many, with what loud applause
Didst thou beat heaven with blessing Bolingbroke,
Before he was what thou wouldst have him be!
And being now trimm'd in thine own desires,
Thou, beastly feeder, art so full of him,
That thou provokest thyself to cast him up.
So, so, thou common dog, didst thou disgorge
Thy glutton bosom of the royal Richard;
And now thou wouldst eat thy dead vomit up,
And howl'st to find it. What trust is in
these times?
They that, when Richard lived, would have him die,
Are now become enamour'd on his grave:
Thou, that threw'st dust upon his goodly head
When through proud London he came sighing on
After the admired heels of Bolingbroke,
Criest now 'O earth, yield us that king again,
And take thou this!' O thoughts of men accursed!
Past and to come seems best; things present worst. 
MOWBRAY Shall we go draw our numbers and set on? 
HASTINGS We are time's subjects, and time bids be gone. 
[Exeunt] 

Act II

Scene I London. A street.

[Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY, FANG and his Boy with her,
and SNARE following. 
MISTRESS QUICKLY Master Fang, have you entered the action? 
FANG It is entered. 
MISTRESS QUICKLY Where's your yeoman? Is't a lusty yeoman? will a'
stand to 't? 
FANG Sirrah, where's Snare? 
MISTRESS QUICKLY O Lord, ay! good Master Snare. 
SNARE Here, here. 
FANG Snare, we must arrest Sir John Falstaff. 
MISTRESS QUICKLY Yea, good Master Snare; I have entered him and all. 
SNARE It may chance cost some of us our lives, for he will stab. 
MISTRESS QUICKLY Alas the day! take heed of him; he stabbed me in
mine own house, and that most beastly: in good
faith, he cares not what mischief he does. If his
weapon be out: he will foin like any devil; he will
spare neither man, woman, nor child. 
FANG If I can close with him, I care not for his thrust. 
MISTRESS QUICKLY No, nor I neither: I'll be at your elbow. 
FANG An I but fist him once; an a' come but within my vice,-- 
MISTRESS QUICKLY I am undone by his going; I warrant you, he's an
infinitive thing upon my score. Good Master Fang,
hold him sure: good Master Snare, let him not
'scape. A' comes continuantly to Pie-corner--saving
your manhoods--to buy a saddle; and he is indited to
dinner to the Lubber's-head in Lumbert street, to
Master Smooth's the silkman: I pray ye, since my
exion is entered and my case so openly known to the
world, let him be brought in to his answer. A
hundred mark is a long one for a poor lone woman to
bear: and I have borne, and borne, and borne, and
have been fubbed off, and fubbed off, and fubbed
off, from this day to that day, that it is a shame
to be thought on. There is no honesty in such
dealing; unless a woman should be made an ass and a
beast, to bear every knave's wrong. Yonder he
comes; and that errant malmsey-nose knave, Bardolph,
with him. Do your offices, do your offices: Master
Fang and Master Snare, do me, do me, do me your offices. 
[Enter FALSTAFF, Page, and BARDOLPH] 
FALSTAFF How now! whose mare's dead? what's the matter? 
FANG Sir John, I arrest you at the suit of Mistress Quickly. 
FALSTAFF Away, varlets! Draw, Bardolph: cut me off the
villain's head: throw the quean in the channel. 
MISTRESS QUICKLY Throw me in the channel! I'll throw thee in the
channel. Wilt thou? wilt thou? thou bastardly
rogue! Murder, murder! Ah, thou honeysuckle
villain! wilt thou kill God's officers and the
king's? Ah, thou honey-seed rogue! thou art a
honey-seed, a man-queller, and a woman-queller. 
FALSTAFF Keep them off, Bardolph. 
FANG A rescue! a rescue! 
MISTRESS QUICKLY Good people, bring a rescue or two. Thou wo't, wo't
thou? Thou wo't, wo't ta? do, do, thou rogue! do,
thou hemp-seed! 
FALSTAFF Away, you scullion! you rampallion! You
fustilarian! I'll tickle your catastrophe. 
[Enter the Lord Chief-Justice, and his men] 
Lord Chief-Justice What is the matter? keep the peace here, ho! 
MISTRESS QUICKLY Good my lord, be good to me. I beseech you, stand to me. 
Lord Chief-Justice How now, Sir John! what are you brawling here?
Doth this become your place, your time and business?
You should have been well on your way to York.
Stand from him, fellow: wherefore hang'st upon him? 
MISTRESS QUICKLY O most worshipful lord, an't please your grace, I am
a poor widow of Eastcheap, and he is arrested at my suit. 
Lord Chief-Justice For what sum? 
MISTRESS QUICKLY It is more than for some, my lord; it is for all,
all I have. He hath eaten me out of house and home;
he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of
his: but I will have some of it out again, or I
will ride thee o' nights like the mare. 
FALSTAFF I think I am as like to ride the mare, if I have
any vantage of ground to get up. 
Lord Chief-Justice How comes this, Sir John? Fie! what man of good
temper would endure this tempest of exclamation?
Are you not ashamed to enforce a poor widow to so
rough a course to come by her own? 
FALSTAFF What is the gross sum that I owe thee? 
MISTRESS QUICKLY Marry, if thou wert an honest man, thyself and the
money too. Thou didst swear to me upon a
parcel-gilt goblet, sitting in my Dolphin-chamber,
at the round table, by a sea-coal fire, upon
Wednesday in Wheeson week, when the prince broke
thy head for liking his father to a singing-man of
Windsor, thou didst swear to me then, as I was
washing thy wound, to marry me and make me my lady
thy wife. Canst thou deny it? Did not goodwife
Keech, the butcher's wife, come in then and call me
gossip Quickly? coming in to borrow a mess of
vinegar; telling us she had a good dish of prawns;
whereby thou didst desire to eat some; whereby I
told thee they were ill for a green wound? And
didst thou not, when she was gone down stairs,
desire me to be no more so familiarity with such
poor people; saying that ere long they should call
me madam? And didst thou not kiss me and bid me
fetch thee thirty shillings? I put thee now to thy
book-oath: deny it, if thou canst. 
FALSTAFF My lord, this is a poor mad soul; and she says up
and down the town that the eldest son is like you:
she hath been in good case, and the truth is,
poverty hath distracted her. But for these foolish
officers, I beseech you I may have redress against them. 
Lord Chief-Justice Sir John, Sir John, I am well acquainted with your
manner of wrenching the true cause the false way. It
is not a confident brow, nor the throng of words
that come with such more than impudent sauciness
from you, can thrust me from a level consideration:
you have, as it appears to me, practised upon the
easy-yielding spirit of this woman, and made her
serve your uses both in purse and in person. 
MISTRESS QUICKLY Yea, in truth, my lord. 
Lord Chief-Justice Pray thee, peace. Pay her the debt you owe her, and
unpay the villany you have done her: the one you
may do with sterling money, and the other with
current repentance. 
FALSTAFF My lord, I will not undergo this sneap without
reply. You call honourable boldness impudent
sauciness: if a man will make courtesy and say
nothing, he is virtuous: no, my lord, my humble
duty remembered, I will not be your suitor. I say
to you, I do desire deliverance from these officers,
being upon hasty employment in the king's affairs. 
Lord Chief-Justice You speak as having power to do wrong: but answer
in the effect of your reputation, and satisfy this
poor woman. 
FALSTAFF Come hither, hostess. 
[Enter GOWER] 
Lord Chief-Justice Now, Master Gower, what news? 
GOWER The king, my lord, and Harry Prince of Wales
Are near at hand: the rest the paper tells. 
FALSTAFF As I am a gentleman. 
MISTRESS QUICKLY Faith, you said so before. 
FALSTAFF As I am a gentleman. Come, no more words of it. 
MISTRESS QUICKLY By this heavenly ground I tread on, I must be fain
to pawn both my plate and the tapestry of my
dining-chambers. 
FALSTAFF Glasses, glasses is the only drinking: and for thy
walls, a pretty slight drollery, or the story of
the Prodigal, or the German hunting in water-work,
is worth a thousand of these bed-hangings and these
fly-bitten tapestries. Let it be ten pound, if thou
canst. Come, an 'twere not for thy humours, there's
not a better wench in England. Go, wash thy face,
and draw the action. Come, thou must not be in
this humour with me; dost not know me? come, come, I
know thou wast set on to this. 
MISTRESS QUICKLY Pray thee, Sir John, let it be but twenty nobles: i'
faith, I am loath to pawn my plate, so God save me,
la! 
FALSTAFF Let it alone; I'll make other shift: you'll be a
fool still. 
MISTRESS QUICKLY Well, you shall have it, though I pawn my gown. I
hope you'll come to supper. You'll pay me all together? 
FALSTAFF Will I live? 
[To BARDOLPH] 
Go, with her, with her; hook on, hook on. 
MISTRESS QUICKLY Will you have Doll Tearsheet meet you at supper? 
FALSTAFF No more words; let's have her. 
[Exeunt MISTRESS QUICKLY, BARDOLPH, Officers and Boy] 
Lord Chief-Justice I have heard better news. 
FALSTAFF What's the news, my lord? 
Lord Chief-Justice Where lay the king last night? 
GOWER At Basingstoke, my lord. 
FALSTAFF I hope, my lord, all's well: what is the news, my lord? 
Lord Chief-Justice Come all his forces back? 
GOWER No; fifteen hundred foot, five hundred horse,
Are marched up to my lord of Lancaster,
Against Northumberland and the Archbishop. 
FALSTAFF Comes the king back from Wales, my noble lord? 
Lord Chief-Justice You shall have letters of me presently:
Come, go along with me, good Master Gower. 
FALSTAFF My lord! 
Lord Chief-Justice What's the matter? 
FALSTAFF Master Gower, shall I entreat you with me to dinner? 
GOWER I must wait upon my good lord here; I thank you,
good Sir John. 
Lord Chief-Justice Sir John, you loiter here too long, being you are to
take soldiers up in counties as you go. 
FALSTAFF Will you sup with me, Master Gower? 
Lord Chief-Justice What foolish master taught you these manners, Sir John? 
FALSTAFF Master Gower, if they become me not, he was a fool
that taught them me. This is the right fencing
grace, my lord; tap for tap, and so part fair. 
Lord Chief-Justice Now the Lord lighten thee! thou art a great fool. 
[Exeunt] 

Scene II London. Another street.

[Enter PRINCE HENRY and POINS] 
PRINCE HENRY Before God, I am exceeding weary. 
POINS Is't come to that? I had thought weariness durst not
have attached one of so high blood. 
PRINCE HENRY Faith, it does me; though it discolours the
complexion of my greatness to acknowledge it. Doth
it not show vilely in me to desire small beer? 
POINS Why, a prince should not be so loosely studied as
to remember so weak a composition. 
PRINCE HENRY Belike then my appetite was not princely got; for,
by my troth, I do now remember the poor creature,
small beer. But, indeed, these humble
considerations make me out of love with my
greatness. What a disgrace is it to me to remember
thy name! or to know thy face to-morrow! or to
take note how many pair of silk stockings thou
hast, viz. these, and those that were thy
peach-coloured ones! or to bear the inventory of thy
shirts, as, one for superfluity, and another for
use! But that the tennis-court-keeper knows better
than I; for it is a low ebb of linen with thee when
thou keepest not racket there; as thou hast not done
a great while, because the rest of thy low
countries have made a shift to eat up thy holland:
and God knows, whether those that bawl out the ruins
of thy linen shall inherit his kingdom: but the
midwives say the children are not in the fault;
whereupon the world increases, and kindreds are
mightily strengthened. 
POINS How ill it follows, after you have laboured so hard,
you should talk so idly! Tell me, how many good
young princes would do so, their fathers being so
sick as yours at this time is? 
PRINCE HENRY Shall I tell thee one thing, Poins? 
POINS Yes, faith; and let it be an excellent good thing. 
PRINCE HENRY It shall serve among wits of no higher breeding than thine. 
POINS Go to; I stand the push of your one thing that you
will tell. 
PRINCE HENRY Marry, I tell thee, it is not meet that I should be
sad, now my father is sick: albeit I could tell
thee, as to one it pleases me, for fault of a
better, to call my friend, I could be sad, and sad
indeed too. 
POINS Very hardly upon such a subject. 
PRINCE HENRY By this hand thou thinkest me as far in the devil's
book as thou and Falstaff for obduracy and
persistency: let the end try the man. But I tell
thee, my heart bleeds inwardly that my father is so
sick: and keeping such vile company as thou art
hath in reason taken from me all ostentation of sorrow. 
POINS The reason? 
PRINCE HENRY What wouldst thou think of me, if I should weep? 
POINS I would think thee a most princely hypocrite. 
PRINCE HENRY It would be every man's thought; and thou art a
blessed fellow to think as every man thinks: never
a man's thought in the world keeps the road-way
better than thine: every man would think me an
hypocrite indeed. And what accites your most
worshipful thought to think so? 
POINS Why, because you have been so lewd and so much
engraffed to Falstaff. 
PRINCE HENRY And to thee. 
POINS By this light, I am well spoke on; I can hear it
with my own ears: the worst that they can say of
me is that I am a second brother and that I am a
proper fellow of my hands; and those two things, I
confess, I cannot help. By the mass, here comes Bardolph. 
[Enter BARDOLPH and Page] 
PRINCE HENRY And the boy that I gave Falstaff: a' had him from
me Christian; and look, if the fat villain have not
transformed him ape. 
BARDOLPH God save your grace! 
PRINCE HENRY And yours, most noble Bardolph! 
BARDOLPH Come, you virtuous ass, you bashful fool, must you
be blushing? wherefore blush you now? What a
maidenly man-at-arms are you become! Is't such a
matter to get a pottle-pot's maidenhead? 
Page A' calls me e'en now, my lord, through a red
lattice, and I could discern no part of his face
from the window: at last I spied his eyes, and
methought he had made two holes in the ale-wife's
new petticoat and so peeped through. 
PRINCE HENRY Has not the boy profited? 
BARDOLPH Away, you whoreson upright rabbit, away! 
Page Away, you rascally Althaea's dream, away! 
PRINCE HENRY Instruct us, boy; what dream, boy? 
Page Marry, my lord, Althaea dreamed she was delivered
of a fire-brand; and therefore I call him her dream. 
PRINCE HENRY A crown's worth of good interpretation: there 'tis,
boy. 
POINS O, that this good blossom could be kept from
cankers! Well, there is sixpence to preserve thee. 
BARDOLPH An you do not make him hanged among you, the
gallows shall have wrong. 
PRINCE HENRY And how doth thy master, Bardolph? 
BARDOLPH Well, my lord. He heard of your grace's coming to
town: there's a letter for you. 
POINS Delivered with good respect. And how doth the
martlemas, your master? 
BARDOLPH In bodily health, sir. 
POINS Marry, the immortal part needs a physician; but
that moves not him: though that be sick, it dies
not. 
PRINCE HENRY I do allow this wen to be as familiar with me as my
dog; and he holds his place; for look you how be writes. 
POINS [Reads] 'John Falstaff, knight,'--every man must
know that, as oft as he has occasion to name
himself: even like those that are kin to the king;
for they never prick their finger but they say,
'There's some of the king's blood spilt.' 'How
comes that?' says he, that takes upon him not to
conceive. The answer is as ready as a borrower's
cap, 'I am the king's poor cousin, sir.' 
PRINCE HENRY Nay, they will be kin to us, or they will fetch it
from Japhet. But to the letter. 
POINS [Reads] 'Sir John Falstaff, knight, to the son of
the king, nearest his father, Harry Prince of
Wales, greeting.' Why, this is a certificate. 
PRINCE HENRY Peace! 
POINS [Reads] 'I will imitate the honourable Romans in
brevity:' he sure means brevity in breath,
short-winded. 'I commend me to thee, I commend
thee, and I leave thee. Be not too familiar with
Poins; for he misuses thy favours so much, that he
swears thou art to marry his sister Nell. Repent
at idle times as thou mayest; and so, farewell.
Thine, by yea and no, which is as much as to
say, as thou usest him, JACK FALSTAFF with my
familiars, JOHN with my brothers and sisters,
and SIR JOHN with all Europe.'
My lord, I'll steep this letter in sack and make him eat it. 
PRINCE HENRY That's to make him eat twenty of his words. But do
you use me thus, Ned? must I marry your sister? 
POINS God send the wench no worse fortune! But I never said so. 
PRINCE HENRY Well, thus we play the fools with the time, and the
spirits of the wise sit in the clouds and mock us.
Is your master here in London? 
BARDOLPH Yea, my lord. 
PRINCE HENRY Where sups he? doth the old boar feed in the old frank? 
BARDOLPH At the old place, my lord, in Eastcheap. 
PRINCE HENRY What company? 
Page Ephesians, my lord, of the old church. 
PRINCE HENRY Sup any women with him? 
Page None, my lord, but old Mistress Quickly and
Mistress Doll Tearsheet. 
PRINCE HENRY What pagan may that be? 
Page A proper gentlewoman, sir, and a kinswoman of my master's. 
PRINCE HENRY Even such kin as the parish heifers are to the town
bull. Shall we steal upon them, Ned, at supper? 
POINS I am your shadow, my lord; I'll follow you. 
PRINCE HENRY Sirrah, you boy, and Bardolph, no word to your
master that I am yet come to town: there's for
your silence. 
BARDOLPH I have no tongue, sir. 
Page And for mine, sir, I will govern it. 
PRINCE HENRY Fare you well; go. 
[Exeunt BARDOLPH and Page] 
This Doll Tearsheet should be some road. 
POINS I warrant you, as common as the way between Saint
Alban's and London. 
PRINCE HENRY How might we see Falstaff bestow himself to-night
in his true colours, and not ourselves be seen? 
POINS Put on two leathern jerkins and aprons, and wait
upon him at his table as drawers. 
PRINCE HENRY From a God to a bull? a heavy decension! it was
Jove's case. From a prince to a prentice? a low
transformation! that shall be mine; for in every
thing the purpose must weigh with the folly.
Follow me, Ned. 
[Exeunt] 

Scene III Warkworth. Before the castle.

[Enter NORTHUMBERLAND, LADY NORTHUMBERLAND, and LADY PERCY] 
NORTHUMBERLAND I pray thee, loving wife, and gentle daughter,
Give even way unto my rough affairs:
Put not you on the visage of the times
And be like them to Percy troublesome. 
LADY
NORTHUMBERLAND
I have given over, I will speak no more:
Do what you will; your wisdom be your guide. 
NORTHUMBERLAND Alas, sweet wife, my honour is at pawn;
And, but my going, nothing can redeem it. 
LADY PERCY O yet, for God's sake, go not to these wars!
The time was, father, that you broke your word,
When you were more endeared to it than now;
When your own Percy, when my heart's dear Harry,
Threw many a northward look to see his father
Bring up his powers; but he did long in vain.
Who then persuaded you to stay at home?
There were two honours lost, yours and your son's.
For yours, the God of heaven brighten it!
For his, it stuck upon him as the sun
In the grey vault of heaven, and by his light
Did all the chivalry of England move
To do brave acts: he was indeed the glass
Wherein the noble youth did dress themselves:
He had no legs that practised not his gait;
And speaking thick, which nature made his blemish,
Became the accents of the valiant;
For those that could speak low and tardily
Would turn their own perfection to abuse,
To seem like him: so that in speech, in gait,
In diet, in affections of delight,
In military rules, humours of blood,
He was the mark and glass, copy and book,
That fashion'd others. And him, O wondrous him!
O miracle of men! him did you leave,
Second to none, unseconded by you,
To look upon the hideous god of war
In disadvantage; to abide a field
Where nothing but the sound of Hotspur's name
Did seem defensible: so you left him.
Never, O never, do his ghost the wrong
To hold your honour more precise and nice
With others than with him! let them alone:
The marshal and the archbishop are strong:
Had my sweet Harry had but half their numbers,
To-day might I, hanging on Hotspur's neck,
Have talk'd of Monmouth's grave. 
NORTHUMBERLAND Beshrew your heart,
Fair daughter, you do draw my spirits from me
With new lamenting ancient oversights.
But I must go and meet with danger there,
Or it will seek me in another place
And find me worse provided. 
LADY
NORTHUMBERLAND
O, fly to Scotland,
Till that the nobles and the armed commons
Have of their puissance made a little taste. 
LADY PERCY If they get ground and vantage of the king,
Then join you with them, like a rib of steel,
To make strength stronger; but, for all our loves,
First let them try themselves. So did your son;
He was so suffer'd: so came I a widow;